literally had 100 drinks last night.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
