Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
