I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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