I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Randomize
