sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
