You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
