Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
