I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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