well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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