He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
