She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
The Olympian is in my bed
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
