Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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