I can tuck mytits in my pants
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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