dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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