her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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