You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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