I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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