11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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