so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I'm having to shit out rocks
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