Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
40s are totally the cure
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
