absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
