If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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