We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
