I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
My dad just said "fuck circus"
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
