Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
