I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
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