Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
