just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
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