Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
