If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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