my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
