you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
