So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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