Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
