I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
