How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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