Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I need mimosas to revive my soul
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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