Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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