Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
