This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
