yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
