and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i will never coherently bang her
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
