real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
