can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
