Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
