By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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