It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
