I hope mine doesn't look like that
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
