He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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