Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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