I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
