Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
